culture, language and temper tantrums

Yesterday I picked up my visa from the Indian consulate. I didn't realize how anxious I was about getting that sorted until I had my passport in hand and felt real excitement for the first time. I stopped by the pharmacy afterwards and picked up stuff to help me sleep/keep me awake, keep food down/help food move out...all the extremes that, knock on wood, I won't need.

The consulate was, as expected, chaotic. The lineup started in the middle of the room amidst the waiting room chairs and followed a drunken path weaving its way between chairs, around rows, and finally tracing the outskirts of the room before leading to the one open service window. I attached myself to a few nice, assertive people who could also speak Hindi and made my way to the front pretty quickly where I was duly chastised for my stupidity in allowing my name to be recorded incorrectly. Whatever.

I had ample time to enjoy the confusion, nod and smile at ridiculous but well meant travel advice, and think about how important travel is. About the mediating effect that experiencing other cultures first hand has had in helping me understand the scene at the consulate. That the yelling, pushing, budding, confusion, misinformation, intrusive questions had nothing to do with rudeness or incompetence and everything to do with context. In context they made perfect sense (that context just happens to be in India ;)

On the subway heading home the older man beside me spent the entire 40 minutes studying a page of exercises practicing the different uses of "either, neither, and both". The sheet was covered in eraser marks where he had changed his answers to the fill in the blank questions. I could feel him working beside me, intent on working his way through the difference between the three terms - so focused. I had to think twice about some of the answers myself, they made such intuitive sense to me. One of his answers read "Neither of them isn't going to the game". I could see why the "isn't" made sense to him to accompany the "neither" and I was reminded again of just how difficult a language English must be to learn.

Imagine learning a new language well into your adulthood. I don't mean picking up French as a a hobby or a fun thing to do but learning a new language as a matter of necessity, because you're immersed in a culture where you simply can't get along with out it. Sometimes the tenacity of others humbles me.


As an aside, the baby living below me hasn't stopped crying, shrieking, and temper tantruming since September. At which point am I allowed to stop being understanding?