Life is sweet and things are about to get a whole lot more exciting :)Saturday, October 24, 2009
you would not believe...
...the amazing things happening.
Life is sweet and things are about to get a whole lot more exciting :)
Life is sweet and things are about to get a whole lot more exciting :)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
holy crap
It's autumn. The beautiful blue skies-puffy clouds-gorgeous colours-crisp air-wonderful kind of autumn that preludes the greyness to come. Impossible not to feel vibrantly alive at this time of year.
Yoga practice is just awesome and teaching feeds my soul. Taking on more mysore shifts which I love, still volunteer yoga-ing with psych patients which is both humbling and hilarious, and beginning new volunteering with delinquent/incarcerated youths. The work that pays my bills if easy, light, fun.
Plays, concerts, pot-lucks, author readings, brunches that will last for hours, soul-friends, trips down south to play in the ocean - this is a month packed with goodness. I'm happy.
Beneath all of that, which is very real, I'm being clobbered by memories and regrets this week. It sucks. Strange to have two such strong currents - elation and sadness - running with equal force at the same time. I'm tired of thinking, tired of trying to understand what can't be understood, tired of taking responsibility for behaviour that isn't mine, and impossibly tired of blaming myself for my responses when there was just so much to respond to. Stuck in someone else's confusion multiplied my confusion and weeks were wasted ricocheting off each others' neuroses. The end was shitty and that sadness lingers but it wasn't my ending. What more is there to say?
So I quiet thoughts of wondering what I should 'do' knowing there is nothing to be done and no one to 'do' it to. I sit with it and go with the flow trusting that what's going on this week is phantom memory of what went down a year ago. Kind of like when body memory releases feelings completely unrelated to what's going on in the current moment. It's not real, it's just remnants burning off when the cosmic cycle comes full circle - releasing what lingers, what's unnecessary.
Life carries me along, it's weeks like this that my mind pulls me back. But only during weeks like this and this week is almost over. Nothing is permanent, change is constant, this is a good thing.
Yoga practice is just awesome and teaching feeds my soul. Taking on more mysore shifts which I love, still volunteer yoga-ing with psych patients which is both humbling and hilarious, and beginning new volunteering with delinquent/incarcerated youths. The work that pays my bills if easy, light, fun.
Plays, concerts, pot-lucks, author readings, brunches that will last for hours, soul-friends, trips down south to play in the ocean - this is a month packed with goodness. I'm happy.
Beneath all of that, which is very real, I'm being clobbered by memories and regrets this week. It sucks. Strange to have two such strong currents - elation and sadness - running with equal force at the same time. I'm tired of thinking, tired of trying to understand what can't be understood, tired of taking responsibility for behaviour that isn't mine, and impossibly tired of blaming myself for my responses when there was just so much to respond to. Stuck in someone else's confusion multiplied my confusion and weeks were wasted ricocheting off each others' neuroses. The end was shitty and that sadness lingers but it wasn't my ending. What more is there to say?
So I quiet thoughts of wondering what I should 'do' knowing there is nothing to be done and no one to 'do' it to. I sit with it and go with the flow trusting that what's going on this week is phantom memory of what went down a year ago. Kind of like when body memory releases feelings completely unrelated to what's going on in the current moment. It's not real, it's just remnants burning off when the cosmic cycle comes full circle - releasing what lingers, what's unnecessary.
Life carries me along, it's weeks like this that my mind pulls me back. But only during weeks like this and this week is almost over. Nothing is permanent, change is constant, this is a good thing.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
home
Where I start my days...
...so the picture probably doesn't do it much justice but there's nowhere that can top the magic that happens in that room or the feeling that comes when I step onto that purple mat. I love that I can go anywhere, in any city, in any country and, as long as I have ten feet of space and something to practice on - I'm home.
Kids have their blankets or stuffed toys they carry around for comfort, I have my yoga mat. Happy, happy, happy.
...so the picture probably doesn't do it much justice but there's nowhere that can top the magic that happens in that room or the feeling that comes when I step onto that purple mat. I love that I can go anywhere, in any city, in any country and, as long as I have ten feet of space and something to practice on - I'm home.
Kids have their blankets or stuffed toys they carry around for comfort, I have my yoga mat. Happy, happy, happy.
missed deadlines
It's October already. I have a mental deadline of October 27th for something I thought I'd be finished with loooong before that date actually rolled around. Turns out I'm not quite done yet - close...but not quite. Never was very good with deadlines :).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
