why you no write?

Given that English is my first language, there’s really no reason why I should talk any differently in India than I would in Canada but I’ve noticed that my inner voice tends to adopt the speech patterns of whatever country I’m visiting. I’ve been thinking about how little writing I’ve done since arriving in India and asking myself, as Guruji would put it, why you no write?

Before I came to India I had visions of myself sitting in front of my window, candles glowing, writing madly away. I do spend hours with my feet propped up against the window and a book ignored by my side as I watch life go by, but there’s been very little writing. I came here because I was craving space to stay put, practice, and see what bubbled to the surface but I forgot how seductive the social scene here can be. I’ve been having a lot of fun these last few weeks. Even still, as easy as it’s been to fill my time with social activities and leave the pesky task of introspection for later, I don’t think my social life is to blame.

I’m not writing because I really don’t know what to say. Being here is, at the same time, the most perfect place in the world to be and the most difficult - with strong emphasis on the former. Giving credence to the phrase ‘wherever you go, there you are’, no amount of socializing can distract me from what I came here to learn. And I’m learning a lot. So much that I think I’ve been silenced, for once, I don’t yet have words to put what I’m experiencing to paper. It’s good though, so good to be here.