the key to a traditional christmas

8am Wednesday morning found me running around my apartment tossing cushions aside, scrambling through coat pockets, and standing idly in the middle of each room, perplexed. I couldn't find my keys anywhere. I missed two buses while I was busy crawling around on the floor looking under couches and I was beginning to get a bit frantic. It really wasn't a good day to be late and I never lock my door anyway so half way through my search I figured 'screw it - I'll just drive' and I would have but I COULDN'T FIND MY KEYS.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, I opened my front door to look outside and, there they were - my keys - still hanging in the keyhole where I'd left them the night before. They jingled happily at me as I opened the door wider to take in what else I'd left in the hallway: my hamper full of clean laundry and several bags of groceries. Apparently I was REALLY tired Tuesday night. As relieved as I was to find everything safe and sound I was a bit peeved; really, keys in the door, grocery bags and folded laundry waiting outside - would it really have killed someone to let themselves in and do me the good turn of putting some things away? What does a girl have to do to get some help ;)

I'm leaving for holidays in less than a week. The full on sprint that has characterized life over the last few months will carry on right up until Thursday night when I head to the airport. This will be the second year in a row that I'll miss Christmas, a fact that my sisters are trying to turn into some kind of 'get out of jail free card' by hinting that, since I don't have to be there, they're going to skip it too.

In an attempt to assuage their sisterly rage I let them in on a little secret I've been carrying for 2 months: I've arranged for a surprise to be delivered to my mom's house Christmas morning. Although I shared this with them in two completely separate conversations, the first words out of both of their mouths when I told them there was going to be a surprise were the exact same: "Is it a stripper?".

Yes girls. I've arranged for a stripper to be delivered to mom's house Christmas morning. After all, what would the holiday be without the time-tested, traditional favourite Christmas stripping elves?