heaven's ass

Something came up with someone, somewhere in the family and although I forget who, what, and why, the outcome was the rescheduling of Thanksgiving for sometime later in October. Accordingly, instead of heading to my Aunt's for thanksgiving dinner, tonight my mother, sisters and I headed to my Grandmother's for a decidedly un-thanksgiving Chinese food dinner. To broke to buy flowers, but knowing my little sister would show up with a huge bouquet, I didn't want to arrive empty handed so I decided to bake dessert.

Forgetting that I always try to make cobbler and it always looks horrible, I made pear cobbler. Last week I bought a box of pears because they were both locally grown and on sale. It seemed like a good idea at the time but, I've discovered that I can only eat so many pears before I begin to dread opening the fridge just to see them sitting there, looking hopeful (pick me! pick me!). When I saw the recipe for pear cobbler I must have been so excited over the word 'pear' that I completely blanked on the 'cobbler' part.

Predictably, it looked horrible. Horrible enough that, if you happened to be behind my sister and I as we walked to our Grandmother's, you would have heard a conversation a little something like this:

Sister: Here, you carry this (passes the cobbler back to me), I don't want to carry it, it looks like ass
Me: But it tastes great
Sister: Yeah, well it looks like ass. I'm not carrying it through Grandma's place
Me: But, seriously, it tastes like heaven
Sister: It may taste like heaven but it looks like ass. It's heaven's ass. I'm still not carrying it.

For the record, we were both right. It did taste great and it did look like ass; I didn't want to be seen carrying it either, that's how she ended up with it. We compromised by hiding it in my bag under my computer and the family compromised by hiding heaven's ass under mounds of vanilla ice cream. Heaven's ass pear cobbler and Chinese food: a new Thanksgiving tradition is born.